Friday, November 28, 2014

Irishman walks into a Thai bar ...

 A man walks into a Hua Hin bar and orders a pint of the dark liquid. 
"Excuse me," says the only other drinker. "Is that an Irish accent I detect?" 
"It is, sir. County Cork, to be exact." 
"Bless me soul," says the first. "I'm a Corkman meself. Ballincollig, to be precise." 
"Bedad, aren't I from Ballincollig meself--Main Street, in actual fact," remarks the second. 
"Main Street is where I was born and raised meself, and St. Anne's was me parish church, Father Foley the parish priest." 
"Didn't I go to nine o'clock mass every Sunday at St. Anne's. What an amazingly small world. Did you go to St. Anne's School?" 
"I did. I was in Miss Slattery's class." 
"God in heaven, so was I." 
Just then the phone rang and the barman answered, "Not too busy at the moment. In fact there's just the O'Daly twins here."

Another Corkman walks into an Irish pub in Hua Hin and begins managing the place with all his might. It was, he reports, a great deal of fun for him there on a busy corner of Selakam Alley, in the town's wee red light district. It's a jumping joint with live bands, an unmistakable pub look, and the mashed-up name El Murphy's, perhaps reflecting that fact that it's Irish and offers some Mexican food as well.

Recently, said Corkman moved on to, first, renovate, then manage two other joints, in a quieter neighborhood. It can't help but be quiet and family-friendly there. Both establishments are across the street from the police station. In true multinational fashion, Corkman David now manages a semi-Scandinavian restaurant called The Admiral, as well as companion bar Urbanabove Fuzion, both of which share a vast upstairs deck and beer garden.

David, carrying on
Full-gutting renovation in progress a year ago

David is always buzzing about The Admiral and Urban Fuzion. He takes his meals there, holds business meetings, dreams up special promotions, changes up the menu, brings in bands, schmoozes all over town to draw in potential regulars, and somehow supervises the staff while speaking scarcely a word of Thai. It's probably better that way. Gestures, a firm expression, and constant presence say it all. On a given afternoon, David could be seen indicating a less-than-spotless table to a feckless server, hauling the offending table out of the front of the house himself, wiping off and replacing it with another, then allowing as how that one wasn't much better after all.

"Hardly workin'," grins David.

"How was the big party last night?" we ask.

"Ah, college students. They got drunk and broke some things, but they're back here all the time, y'know. They're me customers from the university.  I know they're from well-to-do families, so I just wish they spent more money."

"Issues, there's always issues," he goes on.

Then, as if to prove the point, he folds himself up at a side table and begins speaking sternly into his cell phone.

"I told ye there's always issues," he returns to report. "Me chef just told me he's quittin' in two days. He left me once before, goin' off for four days and sayin' he was in Ko Samet, then Pattaya, then Ko Samui, then Phuket. He was teleportin' himself about, so it seemed. I take him on again, and now look."

Off he went on his motorbike, in search of another chef to carry on with the restaurant's five-star menu.

Meanwhile, they've mended fences yet again. But no doubt there will be other issues.

1 comment:

  1. It struck me funny about the Irish proprietor serving Mexican and
    Scandinavian food. LOL!! He didn't think the clientele would appreciate
    some colcannon, boxty, pastie, or coddle? It seems like a proprietor and
    his chef who can serve up a 5 star menu would be able to whip up some
    tasty Irish vittles too. Of course, his chef sounds very temperamental.
    LOL.

    ReplyDelete